One Result, Two Reactions

After Erin’s initial diagnosis of complete placenta previa, her “regular” obstetrician (let’s call her TZR) effectively put Erin on bed rest. There was a long list of things she wasn’t allowed to do, and a much shorter list of things that were okay. TZR said, “Let’s wait to see what happens.” TZR told Erin, “If the placenta migrates, then you can go back to having a normal pregnancy.”

Translated: Wait and see; it’s left to “Fate” (if you believe in that sort of thing). But, here’s a nice juicy carrot that we’ll hang in front of you. If by “Fate” (or standard embryological development) the cervix is no longer covered by the placenta, you can have this sweet and juicy carrot, travel restrictions will be nullified, and the massive burden of worrying about your health–as well as that of your unborn child–will magically be lifted!

A few days after the 22-week sonogram, TZR (or one of the nurses tasked with conveying TZR’s response) called Erin at home. I wasn’t there, so the following is completely made up, but the message is the same.

Erin: So?
TZR: Yes, the placenta has moved. You no longer have the previa.
Erin: So everything can go back to normal?
TZR: No.
Erin: What?!
TZR: Yeeeaaah, sooooo your placenta is still low-lying, and I don’t want to take any chances. Continue living as you have been.
Erin: [silence]

The upshot is that while one doctor says, “Everything’s great! Congratulations on the placenta migration and all that,” the HMO doctor says, “Not so fast, and forget everything I said last time. You’re still on bed rest.”

“See that rug you’re standing on? Well, firstly, you shouldn’t be standing at all, despite the now-favorable position of your placenta. And, secondly, here… let me get that for you.” *YANK*

Erin’s reaction to all this is disappointment, feeling let down, high hopes dashed. There’s never been anything that she can do about the location of her placenta, so there’s no direct action she can take to better the situation. But, it’s like a broken promise. The carrot was a lie.

My reaction to all this is: Lying [redacted]. Who the [redacted] does she think she is [redacted] with my wife’s emotions like that? Erin doesn’t need this [redacted]. Don’t you think she’s got enough [redacted] to worry about being all [redacted] pregnant and [redacted]? Hey, thanks for your [redacted] help, you [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted].

Erin has told me that it doesn’t help the situation that I now basically hate TZR. But I don’t hate her. She’s being extra-cautious, ultimately for the benefit of my wife and child. I just react differently to the disappointment I feel when someone lies to my wife, and hurts her feelings.

Erin’s got another appointment with TZR on July 17th, and another sonogram is scheduled for August 11th. At least I kept my promise to Erin that The Beanlet Blog would remain profanity-free.